L.I.F.E.G.O.E.S.O.N.

I wrote this on Monday, but am just now getting around to posting it.  Sorry... it's been a busy week.

This morning, I skyped with my parents for the first time in weeks, I think.  To be honest, I had been avoiding it.  It's really hard to see my mom, dad, dog, the kitchen I grew up in no doubt filled with yummy American food, the comfortable furniture, etc, without getting really sad.  I feel bad about that, but that's just the way it is.  So, I avoid it.  Sometimes I avoid things that make me sad.  And sometimes I run away from them.  Why do you think I'm in Thailand?  Just kidding... sort of.

In fact, I'd kind of taken an Internet break this past week and weekend.  And I hate to admit it, but it was nice.  And it gave me a chance to start attaching to people and things here.  Here's what happened while I was away:

Songkran

Weekend before last was Songkran.  I posted a little about the "opening ceremonies" but now it's time to get down to the nitty gritty.  Songkran is the Thai New Year.  It's also a time to wash away the crap of last year and move forward into a new, clean year.  (To be honest, my last year was kind of amazing.  Although I was single, lost my job, turned 30, moved back to Ohio and in with my parents, and my dog was diagnosed with Diabetes, it was pretty much one of the best years of my life.  I loved almost every minute of it, save for that week in the Carribean, and the day I had a break down and crawled under a co-workers desk to cry, but well, stuff happens.)  Typically, even-numbered years aren't favorable for me.  Good thing I moved to Thailand where it's actually the year 2555.  Thai time rocks! 

Early in the morning on the Saturday of Songkran (April 14) one of my co-workers popped into my bedroom unexpectedly.  I was alseep in my underwear because it was so hot.  So much for modesty.  Now that the first embarrassment of the day was over, she told me to get up because we were going on a bpai tiao to a Songkran festival in Sukothai (a province Southwest of my own.)  I got dressed and walked down the stairs to where her family was waiting in the truck.  Husband driving, kids in the back armed with giant water guns, buckets, and a giant, industrial trash can filled with water. 

I put my iPhone in a ziplock and braced myself for the day.  I'm a foreigner so I knew I would be targeted and doused with water at some point.  It was inevitable.  However, for the drive at least, I was safely tucked into the cab of the truck, where I would stay dry despite hundreds of people throwing water at my window and smearing baby powder all over the windshield.  Along the hour drive to Sukothai we encountered mass amounts of people armed with their own industrial-sized, water-filled trash cans throwing water at passing vehicles and motorcycles. 

My view from the passenger seat: 

After we arrived in Sukothai, we became entangled in a two-hour long traffic jam... caused by a massive water war.  It was awesome.  I desperately wanted to get in the back of the truck, but PC would have frowned upon that.  Plus, I didn't bring a change of clothes, so I wanted to stay semi-dry.  The two lane highway became three lanes in one direction, and one lane in the opposite direction.  And crowds of people weaved in and out of traffic the entire time.

My view for about two hours.   

Sometimes people would see me and yell "Farang" then throw water or baby powder at my window. I had glass and locked doors to protect me, so I felt safe laughing at them. The rest of the day was pretty great.  Once we managed our way through traffic, we stopped at the Sukothai Historical Park for lunch, shopping, and touring some ruins. 

And then I ran into some other Assasamaks! (That means other Peace Corps Volunteers in Thai)  This was by far the best part of my day.  Being able to speak English!  It was like the flood gates opened and all the words I had been trying to search for in my Thai Dictionary came pouring out in a massive wave, which I thought was quite appropriate given the water holiday.  It also made me hopeful that my co-worker was now aware that I actually wasn't deaf and mute.  And that maybe, just maybe she'd share this information with the rest of the office.



Oh, and if you haven't noticed, I'm trying to put the song associated with title of my posts at the end.  Sometime fun to do, I guess. 

Happy New Year! Suk-san wan Songkran!

Songkran!  The Thai New Year.  A four day festival where water is used to wash away the bad... and also to drench the unsuspecting farang. 

Yesterday, I participated in my very first Songkran activity.  I have to say that I've really been looking forward to the Songkran experience.  Current volunteers and PC staff have been talking it up since my arrival in early January.  And with this first ceremony under my belt, I can say that it's living up to it's expectations.

Part of the festival includes wearing flowered shirts and paying respect to elders, and yesterday my aw bah taw hosted a celebration for all of the residents of my Tambon aged 60 and older.  My Tambon includes 12 villages, and there were over a hundred people at the event.  And staying true to the Thai way, we were all dressed alike in flowered shirts. 

Per the usual, I was asked to give a speech.  Sadly, I had no idea this was happening today and was even more ill prepared than I normally am.  I stumbled through the Thai part until they told me to stop.  Then they asked me to give a speech in English.  So I did.  They cut this off even faster than the Thai version.  As humiliating as this might seem, it's starting to become easier to laugh it off and I'm learning to enjoy each experience - whatever it is - because I'm lucky to be able to have this kind of view of another culture.  I'm grateful for that no matter how uncomfortable it may be at times. 

Here I am giving my speech.  That's my Balat to the left, standing in the matching shirt.  He's awesome.  Thank God I have a sense of humor about myself.  I look like an idiot.  

Then they had me walk around and take photos with the elderly folks from the different villages.  Here are some of those photos.  Don't I look completely comfortable and gorgeous?  haha! 





I'm not 100% sure, but I think the white powder on my face is there to ward off evil.  In actuality, I think people just have a great time smearing each other's faces with the pasty mixture. I think about 20 people got a hold of me and by the end of the day I had it down my neck, in my ears, my hair, and all over my clothes.  It's fun to paint the white person white. 

We spent the majority of the afternoon playing games and they even got me to play a game which involved a phallic shaped gourd being tied around my waist which I had to use to hit a ping pong ball across the ground.  Sorry to report there are no photos of this... well, there are, but I'm not posting them :)

 

And then we danced the Rambon, a traditional Thai dance, which apparently causes me to make stupid faces. 

Then we ate... and ate... and ate some more.  And after lunch we played some more games.  And some of the people put these flowers around my neck, which I believe is a Thai blessing of sorts.  I'm still trying to learn about all of the different cultural elements, but any blessings, I will gladly welcome. 

And then, near the end of the day, the actual ceremony began.  What I've noticed about Thailand, and that I'm sure everyone that has visited or seen pictures has noticed, is that it's certainly beautiful on the exterior.  But what lies beneath the surface is far more intoxicating and stunning than one could ever anticipate.  Everyone knows the saying "Good things come to those who wait" and I believe Thailand encompasses this more than any place I've ever been.  If you wait patiently in Thailand, it will reward you with something more beautiful than you ever expected. 

And that's exactly what happened yesterday.

After being re-smeared with gobs of white paste, everyone filled buckets with water and flowers.  Then we knelt on the ground with hands clasped in prayer across from a row of multi-colored and sized Buddha statues.  Everyone started to pray.  The rapid humming of Thai prayers from hundreds of mouths is something that can etch itself into your brain.  It's entrancing and consuming in a way not many things in life are, and a sound that will always make me remember my time here. 

We rose with our buckets of water and we gently poured a little bit onto each statue, a symbolic cleansing of the new year of all that is bad or evil.  The elderly stayed seated and those of us under the age of sixty took our buckets of water and slowly snaked our way through the curved rows of chairs, gently pouring water into the hands and down the backs of those who had likely lived their entire lives in this community. 

As they splashed the water back on to me, they grabbed my arms and wished me good luck with my life.  And I really think they meant it.  By the time I had worked my way through the crowd I was soaking wet from head to toe.  Everyone was. 

While it was hard to imagine pouring water on old people in the United States and getting away with it, I couldn't help but think about how Thailand made it beautiful.  An exchange of good luck for the new year by literally washing away the bad.  It made me glad I've stuck it out this long. 

I haven't written about it publicly, but this experience has extremely difficult and one of the most challenging things I've ever done.  I'm often so painfully homesick that even my teeth hurt.  If you dangled a plane ticket in front of me right now, I might grab it and run the 500k to Bangkok just to see my family and my country.  I miss them.  And for one of the first times in my life, I miss the United States.   

But instead, I will wait with the anticipation that Thailand gives me something beautiful.  Cheers to the New Year!  And with all these blessings, it's bound to be even better than the last!  Happy Songkran everyone!

The mundane

Disclaimer: I meant to post this a few days ago, but I was busied with some mundane-ness ;)



A friend of mine asked me to write him about the average, the mundane of daily life here in Thailand.  So far, I’ve written only two (epic-ly long) e-mails to him describing, in some very colorful language, what happened to me on that particular day – today being one of those two days.    

Mostly, these two emails highlighted my inability to eat at the rate Thais want me to, my general lack of knowledge about what exactly is happening at any given moment, and the randomness that seems to fill every second of every day.  It made me wonder if my life was like this in America but I wasn't pay attention so I didn’t notice, or if I was just so focused on the big picture that I failed to absorb the little, wonderful things about my days.  Like I couldn’t see the forest for the trees, or in this case, the trees for the forest. 

So, I’d like to share a piece of today with those of you who care enough about me to read this (thank you), because it is the best example of normal and mundane and a fairly accurate description of what my daily life is like.   And I’d like to apologize to my friend, if he reads this, for repeating myself and this ‘mundane’ day, so I’ll throw in a few more details for his sake.

Today I should have been able to sleep in for an extra hour.  Last night was “Cowboy Day” which meant everyone wore denim and plaid shirts, ate lots of pork and fish, and watched interestingly clad dancers and singers on a stage set up outside the office.  I’m sure there was a purpose to this, perhaps it was a fundraiser or celebration of sorts, but as usual I had no clue what was going on.  Regardless, this meant I was at work until 10pm and had to catch a ride home from a co-worker since it’s too dangerous to ride my bike at night.  This also meant I had to catch a ride to work this morning as well for I’m not allowed to ride on motorcycles and my host family doesn’t own a car, and my bike was at work.   Anyway, my co-worker said she would pick me up at 9am, which meant I could sleep for an extra hour.  YAY!! 

A random shot of the singer and dancers at Cowboy Day

However, that didn’t happen.  I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this before, but all Thai villages have a PA system that broadcasts songs and news throughout the town.  And boy are they LOUD.   And lucky me, this morning there was an announcement an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off.  So, I lay on floor listening to the opening song and then what was being said very carefully.  Last week, the announcement was about me.  I woke up at 7am on Saturday to an announcement about what I would be doing that day.  Now, I know I have limited Thai, but I know my name, the words most often associated with me, and my schedule.  But today they didn’t mention me.  Probably because it was going to be a mundane day. 

After the announcement, I got up to shower.  My first of the day.  Showers are a big deal here.  I’m not sure if it’s as much a cultural thing as it is a necessity in this sweltering heat, but it’s one of the things I talk about the most.  That and if/what I've eaten. 

Before I made it out of the door to my room, I was asked if I had eaten yet.  No.  I showered and walked back to my room.  On the way, I was reminded that breakfast was on the table.  Now, breakfast can be derived of any random food that happens to be available in or around the house, or whatever was for dinner last night.  But, at least in my house, it always includes eggs in one of the egg’s various forms.  And it ALWAYS includes rice.  Sometimes there are chicken legs.  Sometimes there is a soup with pork balls.  Sometimes there is a cold noodle dish that tastes citrusy and spicy.  Sometimes all of these things are present.  And because my host family at site is AMAZING and they treat me like a princess, they always have coffee, peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and fresh mangos set out, too, because I told them that’s what I like to eat.  But what I didn’t mention is that this is all for me.  This has ALL been set out for me. 

Today I had coffee and a strawberry wafer cookie thing because it looked pretty.  We were out of bread, so no pb&j today.  My co-worker arrived 30 minutes early and we attempted a conversation while I finished my coffee.  Speaking Thai is mentally exhausting. 

When we rolled into work, I saw that they were setting up for another meeting.  There is an outdoor meeting area and for the past couple of days, they have had all-day meetings.  I have no idea what they are about even though I sometimes help with set up.  I can’t read Thai.  I’m illiterate here.  I hate it.  

I also saw a group of people gathered under a little tent off to the side of the meeting hall.  In an effort to practice Thai, I asked my co-worker what that group of people was doing.  She told me, but I didn’t understand.  I went into the office and rattled off a couple of emails and checked facebook, and told a couple of folks that, yes, I had already eaten. But after about an hour, curiosity got the best of me.  I asked again what the people were doing in that tent and if I could go watch.  Again, I wasn’t clear on the answer so I just walked outside and went to investigate. 

It was a group of elderly women and they appeared to be making brooms and welcome mats/rugs.  I asked if I could watch.  They said yes, immediately offered me food, and then they said some things I didn’t understand.  So I sat down and watched them for a while.  Then, one of the women brought me materials to make a rug.  For the next two hours I worked on my rug and used a hook to pull pieces of fabric through a potato sack with lining around its edges.  At first I was awful and clumsy and everyone laughed at me, but I laughed, too, and it wasn’t long before I got the hang of it.  I had a great time with those women, even though I was dripping sweat, was sitting on the ground in my skirt, and my legs kept falling asleep. 

Then it was lunchtime.  One of my counterparts retreived me from the rug-making tent and took me to the open-air meeting area.  They were serving curry and an unfamiliar soup, along with rice.  I went for the curry first and got about two bites in before they determined it was too spicy for me (it wasn’t), moved the curry out of reach and put the soup in front of me.  I didn’t like the soup.  But they are protective of me, and for that I am appreciative, so I ate some anyway.  But I didn’t eat much.  Sadly, I don’t ever eat much here.  I’m still adjusting to the changes and the food and am often, and unfortunately, sick. 

I went back into the office to check my e-mail.  Before I sat down, I was asked if I’d eaten lunch yet.  I said yes and that I was full.  But I was asked again by three other people – just to make sure.  Again, I’m not sure if this is a cultural thing or if it is because it’s one of the things I can actually talk about with people.  Regardless, they brought me some snacks and a piece of cake.  I said no thank you, but they asked me to at least try it.  “Chim chim!”  It was so cute and I didn't want to hurt their feelings so I tried the snack. I didn’t like it.  But they were excited that I tried it so I finished it.  Then I ate my piece of cake, which was actually quite good.  Normally, I don’t like Thai sweets, but the cake tasted vaguely like American cake and I was excited. 

As looked over the news and was doing some research on the upcoming Thai holiday (didn't want to be ignorant), one of my co-workers opened the window between our offices and motioned for me to come to her office.  She does this daily and because of my lack of language skills, we mostly just sit and look at each other.  Or she’ll ask me a series of questions about how much things cost in America or if I eat rice every day in America.  The usual curious cultural questions which I’m happy to answer.  Today, she immediately asked me if I’ve eaten, if I’d like to eat, or would I like a snack.  Yes. No. No.  Disappointment.  We stared at each other until she told me to sit down.   She opened Google translate and typed something.  The translation made no sense – not in any context whatsoever.  Whatever she typed in Thai had been translated into “Sarah will kick it.”  I spent the next 5 minutes trying to explain what the word “kick” meant to her and a couple other interested office staff by going around kicking things and saying “KICK!” and having them repeat it.  This made me feel like a jerk. 

Eventually, everyone got bored with Google translate.  But then my co-worker remembered a friend of hers, who is married to a German man, is in town.  After a lot of confusion and a few phone calls, it was determined that we will walk down the street to her friends house so I could speak English with the German husband. 

When we arrived, I felt very awkward and guilty for interrupting these people's day.  But they were very gracious and welcoming and we began to talk through bits of broken English, Thai, and now, German.  The German man didn't speak much English.  I speak about three German words, none of which were helping.  But through my mixture of English and Thai he and his wife were able to put together - in German - what I was saying.  We went on like that for about 2 hours.  Then my boss called and said everyone at the office missed me.  The family and I exchanged emails and they told me I was welcome to visit any time.  I can even visit them in Germany, they said.   We returned to the office.  I really wanted to finish my rug, but I saw the ladies are cleaning up, so I hoped they would be back tomorrow.

After a while, I headed home on my bike.  When I got there, my host sister asked me if I was hungry and handed me a bowl corn, sugar, and coconut shavings. 

I'm not a huge fan of coconut corn, so I didn't eat it.  Instead, I sat at the table looking at it.  Then she told me it was time for dinner and we were going to the som dtam stand by the river to eat.  YAY!  So we got on our bikes and went down to the stand where we feasted upon meat-on-a-stick and papaya salad.

The river.  (a view from our table)

What we ate.

With my host sister, Tum, at the som dtam stand.  Plates cleaned!

And that was my mundane day. 

Everything's coming up roses

The other day as I was cutting up my meat with my spoon, my host family asked me if I ever want to have children of my own.  I tried my best, in Thai, to explain that while I might like to have children one day, I'm already 30 and unmarried, so it is unlikely that I ever will.  Instead, what I actually said was that, yes, I want children and I want to have 30 of them.  (hahahahaha!!!  Yeah. Right.)  As ridiculous as that was, it was received far better than what I did next.

When they passed me the chili powder, I took a pinch and sprinkled it over my food.   

I LOVE spicy food.  Love it.  So I was more than happy to sprinkle some much loved chili pepper over my guai-tiao and was quite excited to show them that even though I am white, I can handle my spice. 

When I used my thumb and index finger (as one normally would when pinching) to get the pepper out of the baggie, my family immediately broke into a tizzy.  They jumped up, ran around, yelled, and eventually grabbed my hand and stuck it in a bowl of water which they obtained during the fiasco.  Thankfully, that seemed to put out the fire I had unintentionally started.  No pun intended.  :)

As I sat there stunned and with my hand in a bowl of water, everyone else seemed to finally calm down.  This little faux pas totally rained on the spicy food parade I thought I was going to have that evening.  And instead of flaunting my tolerance, I was lectured on the dangers of touching chili powder in an environment where sweating is inevitable.  What if I had touched my eyes!  Or skin!  Oops. 

Luckily, I recovered and they trusted me enough to let me help them make flower arrangements, which I totally rocked.  So my parade was back on, and thank goodness!  Because little did I know, the next morning I was actually going to lead one.  More on that later. 

My flowers: (Toby and Tasha, I totally understand if you want me to do all the arrangements for your wedding this year.  Just say the word.  I'm the master flower arranger now!)

Before

During (one petal folded)

Finished product!

 

Where Everybody Knows Your Name... but they can't pronounce it.

Week one at site is over.  12 times I've ridden my bike to and from work and had people call out "SALAH!" the whole way.  I can't believe I've made it this far.  *pauses for applause*  So, before I get too behind in my blogging, let me cover the high points of day one...

A few weeks ago during my final review with Peace Corps (and when I was officially recommended to serve as a volunteer) they asked if I had any questions before they released into the wild.  Yes, actually, I did have a question.  One that seemed like it should have a very obvious answer, but one that was weighing heavily on my mind nonetheless: WHAT DO I DO WHEN I WAKE UP ON THE MORNING OF THE 22ND OF MARCH?!  This was to be my first day at site.  "Um.. go to work?" they said.  That was the obvious answer, I know.  But the underlying questions were much greater.   Do I go into the community yet?  How do I find my way around?  Where will I eat lunch?  Will I understand anything that is going on?  What do I work on?  The questions, to me at least, were endless.  They still are.  I have no idea what awaits me each morning when I wake up and I assume that this feeling will last for the next two years.  *Ahem* The next one year and 51 weeks. 

I had been forewarned that I was going to have to give a speech in Thai on the morning of the 22nd.  This is one of the first things my counterpart told me when we were reintroduced at the counterpart conference.  No pressure, right?  Nice to meet you, too.  If you know me, you know that I like to wing it.  And that's exactly what I did.  That morning I scrawled a few choice Thai words down in my notebook for reference (and just in case).  I believe it's always best to speak from the heart, even if you can't speak the language.  So, in front of all of the important village leaders, I did my best to introduce myself in a language I had only studied for two months.   Then, something beautiful happened. 

When I thought I was done, they put me in a chair in front of the crowd.  There was a floral arrangement on the table next to me and it was covered in strings.  (Below is a picture of it after the ceremony - picture it with strings all over each leaf.)

 
One by one, 53 members of the community took a string from the floral arrangement and approached me.  They swept the piece of string over my wrist both away from me (to brush away all bad luck and feelings) and toward me (to usher in good luck and happiness), said a blessing in Thai, then took my hand, said how glad they were I was here, and wish me much happiness and luck here in Phichai. 

This is one of the most beautiful things that has ever happened to me.  It is a rare experience to have one person, let alone 53, welcome you with open hearts to a new community and give you an individual blessing.  I took this as a good sign and so far it has proven to be just that.  This has been a rough journey for me, as you probably know from my various whining and homesick e-mails and skypes, but I feel like it is going to be a worthwhile journey, nonetheless.

Here I am in my bedroom that night with all my strings feeling very loved and welcomed.  Yep, that's my bed there behind me.  I sleep on some pillows on the floor.  But I like it.  So don't judge.

The rest of the week has gone fairly quickly.  My village has kept me very busy and when I expressed that this has been a particularly hard and sad week for me for a number of reasons especially since I'm kit tung baan, they drew me even closer, told me they loved me, are so glad I'm here, and bought me a pink t-shirt with a kitten on it that says "Please be happy."  So, I have been happy, because, well, what else am I gonna do?

There's Beauty in the Breakdown

On Wednesday afternoon I left for site.  And when I say "left" I mean I was picked up by three people I have only met once, can only communicate with in short Thai/English sentences, and driven about 5 hours north into the wilderness of Thailand (ie: through many rice fields), and away from everyone and everything I know here.  I could tell you that it was no big deal and that I was very excited about my "big adventure," but that would be a total understatement and, really, an outright lie.  There are only two other times in my life when I have been more petrified: once when I was driving just outside of Cincinnati and my dog jumped out of the car and ran across six lanes of traffic, and the other when I was underwater for a considerable amount of time after being pitched out of my raft and into a class five rapid on the Nile River.  But, I digress... Let's just say I was terribly anxious about what was going to happen next.

So, they threw my giant, heavy suitcase in the back of the truck and I said goodbye to the other volunteers.  Since going to sleep is pretty much my solution to every problem, I said a quick prayer to both God and Buddha, passed out in the back seat of the pickup and woke up periodically to burning rice fields, sharp turns, loud music, and my new life.  Ah, Thailand. 

When I arrived at my homestay (more on this later) they fed me, which was really nice.  Jai dii mak mak.  And even though I felt like an empty shell of a person, save the rice in my shell-person belly, I decided I would begin integrating into my new community.  Ugh!!!  The effort!

Our house is a typical Thai home.  It sits on stilts and the cooking is done under the house, which is kind of like a patio/garage/kitchen/basement but open air.  Everyone was in the "kitchen" so after I was done settling in, I went downstairs to see what was going on, and also to make an effort to communicate.  I ended up in the middle of an OTOP project (again, more on this later, or if you are super curious, you can Google it) and found myself helping some Thai ladies make naam priik.  Naam priik translates into "pepper water" but it is really more of a chili paste.  It's delicious and if you are ever in Southeast Asia, I encourage you to try it.  I don't think I really helped all that much, but it was really fun to participate in a second-income generating project on my first evening at site. 

But I wasn't done yet.  After about an hour of likely screwing up someones second income, my host mom asked if I would like to go to the school and watch the students play volleyball.  Of course, I said yes.  Not because I like volleyball, but because I remembered one of the projects my Tambon asked me to help with was the youth council and also because you should never turn down an invitation - you don't know where it will lead!  And - this is the best part - because my bike and helmet hadn't arrived at site yet and it's a Peace Corps policy that I wear a helmet whenever I ride a bike, I was able to make an extra awesome first impression when I rolled up on my borrowed, pink child's bike wearing an over-sized red motorcycle helmet. 

Can you imagine what people must have thought?  I mean, seriously?  What would you have thought if your town never had foreigners and the first time a foreigner came to town, she arrived at the little league soccer game on a child's bike with a motorcycle helmet on her head?  In America, the police would have been called.  In Thailand, they asked if I wanted to join in on the game.

And then there were none

The past few evenings have been spent fighting off an army of tiny Thai gnats that have attempted to take over my bedroom.  There are so many that they cover my bedsheets, bounce off my face, my computer screen, and swarm the curtains.  There is not much I can do, save spraying my entire bed and all of my clothes with bug spray, turn off the ceiling lamp they are so obsessed with, and hope they try to find some other source of light and leave me alone.   Alas, I've woken up twice now only to have to sweep up piles of their little dead bodies.  And it looks like tomorrow morning will be the same.

Much like these little bugs, things in Thailand seem to come in waves.  Whether it is bugs (first it was ants, now it's gnats), food, location, or anything else, it all seems to run its course.  Today was my last day of training and on Monday I swear in as a volunteer.  This should be a big moment in my life and I'm excited to take this next step of my Peace Corps journey.  But, I'm also really nervous because for the second time in 10 weeks my life will change dramatically.

It strikes me as funny that I have already been here 10 weeks.  Some days it feels like I just got off the plane, but on nights when I'm constantly sweeping bugs off of my bed, computer screen, and my face, and drowning in my own sweat and NOT complaining, it feels like I have been here for a lifetime.  I have gotten so used to the creepy crawlies, that, while I still find myself jumping at my own shadow in anticipation of a spider as big as my hand, I am no longer intimidated by the little things in life...you know like ants, and lizards, and... people.

Anyway, I think I'm ready for the next wave Thailand has in store.  By Wednesday I will be in my new home, in my new tambon, with my new host family.  Hopefully, I'll have better stories for this blog (or at least more time to write better stories for this blog).  I plan on applying to write for the PCV Thailand publication "Sticky Rice" (adorable name, huh?)  and am looking forward to being more myself and less of an anxious, exhausted mess.